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Ike Savage  
Interested.
Registered: Jan 2002
Location: Shackamaxon, PA Beverage: iced tea
Posts: 9545
Fav Pin: Giraffe in Park
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| this was the hardest day |
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NOTES:
quote:
- this document has pages- when you reach the end of one, you will need to turn the page by clicking the little numbers at the top or bottom, ie "1, 2, 3", etc.
- i find the default graphic theme here (grey) a bit gloomy. therefore let me recommend the white-based "imac" style. you can change the graphic display style from the front page by selecting "choose your style" in the upper right-hand corner- http://vpforums.com
- note: http://shrinkster.com/xt5 redirects here.
- this webforum thread started as an anonymous internet vent and later evolved into updates about my mom that i could share with family and friends. therefore, please understand that i've also made many internet posts in other places at this site that i never intended friends and family to read. nuf said, i hope.
thank you,
nic
...
FEBRUARY 22ND, 2008:
so my mom is in critical condition.
she's had a history of bad rheumatoid arthritis, hyperthyroidism and high cholesterol (not due to diet, but genetic). and due to these conditions and meds she took to deal with them, she also has signficant arterioscelrosis.
in october she had a stroke which produced lingering aphasia (difficulty communicating and finding words). then about a month ago she had a carotid artery cleared to minimise stroke recurrences.
over one week ago, and in the middle of recovering from all this, apparently a combination of meds and perhaps the arteriosclerosis produced an extreme intestinal blockage, causing a rupture in her colon. this was a very big deal, obviously, and she had immediate surgery and got placed in the ICU.
ever since then i've been spending about eight hours a day with her trying to keep her company and attending to any of her wants and needs. when my stepdad gets here after his dialysis treatment, i gladly leave him in charge. i've never done anything like this before, but her recovery seemed quite good, i'm glad i could be here to help out, and overall i called it an interesting experience.
so today i found out that there were new and extreme complications. another part of her colon underwent aschemia (tissue death due to lack of blood flow), another rupture occured, and she had to undergo another surgery to straighten this all out. in addition, "her tissues are paper-thin due to years of taking steroids as the prescribed treatment for severe arthritis" (words of the surgeon). that's also two major surgeries in one week which is enough to sorely tax any healthy person, much less a 71-yr old with existing health problems.
so after the surgeon told me what the situation was and i signed the surgery consent forms, i went into the bathroom and cried like a baby. then i cleaned my face and went back in and explained to my mom in the most gentle terms that a little more work needed to be done, hoping not to crack (i didn't, thank god).
even though she was drifting in and out of consciousness she seemed to understand. now, post-op, she is heavily sedated with a ventilator down her throat and completely unconscious. but i am losing it. today was an incredible setback and i am tottering on the edge of extreme dread over my mom's prognosis. i love my mom despite our occasional differences and i want to be there every moment i can to help her pull through, but at the same time i can't go through much more of this.
you people who have gone through rough days like this, i don't know how you do it. i need to learn something from you fast, because i am cracking.
__________________
Nic's picks- flash games / The history of Visual Pinball / Billiards Engine / News of the world Part I / II / III / IV / Pearls (eight of the puzzles are mine) / HOMEPAGE
Last edited by Ike Savage on 05-07-2008 at 09:40 PM |
 02-22-2008 09:34 PM |
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Paratech  
Pinball Fanatic
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Registered: May 2001
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<Someone please tell him this as he has me on ignore>
My father was diagnosed with terminal cancer months ago, and I lost it when I saw him two weeks ago in agonizing pain, pain so bad it hurt him to have someone touch him.
I couldn't handle watching him in such pain, even when he was drifting out of consciousness, he seemed in pain, thankfully he died peacefully two days later.
I hope whatever you believe religiously, there is a God, praying to him is good, having faith that even at the worst, sometimes is all we have. God willing, if the worst comes, she will be in Paradise with him, I hope that it will give you comfort.
There is nothing wrong with getting emotional when someone you love is suffering, crying and being emotional about those you love is the surest sign you have a conscience and a soul.
Regardless of our differences and arguments, you are a caring person and standing by your mother and grieving shows just what a great person you are and she was for raising you.
Take care, Charline and I will pray for you and your mother.
__________________
-Member of the Windows XP/XBOX "Sith" with dreams of galactic conquest, er no, I mean dreams of buying an XBOX 360
$95 for an XBOX, $9.99 for a copy of Halo 2...Being able to play Halo 2 without buying Vista, priceless! Vista, what OS do you not want to screw up your PC!
Wii will Wii will rock you!
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| 02-22-2008 10:05 PM |
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Sleepy
Incredible Hulk
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Registered: May 2001
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More:
She was on steroids for arthritis. Is her tongue/heart/organs enlarged with difficulty swallowing? Again, ask about warm water (80 F.) lavage to clear residual steroids recycling through the liver back to the digestive system. Don't allow the doctors to use artificial drugs.
She sounds like she is already suffering from steroid toxicity which may still be present. How are her electrolyte blood levels?
Her phosphate blood levels?
What is her Uric Acid level, if any? Uric Acid is usually involved in arthritis and is attacked by the anti-arthritis medications, though that is a good thing as uric acid is toxic, can concentrate in the system and is not used by the body.
What is her bile acid level? The steroids may have wiped it.
The B vitamins are crucial for restoring bile acids, but definitely not before detox/lavage.
Paper-thin tissues. Again, Calcium Pantothenate and Biotin help increase normal tissue density and antihistimines.
With colon damage, look out for excess Vitamin K or blood levels or toxins from the normal bacteria (sepsis) and again ask about lavage. I know this one because my father died from renal failure/sepsis and I wasn't there when the doctors did whatever.
In fact he was given shots of Vitamin K to stop internal hemorraging on a sepsis that likely was already providing toxic levels of vitamin K and were not needed. This was also after suffering a stroke; definitely risky. The thing to look out for is excessive phosphate blood levels as *I think* phosphorus clogs the system in the presense of vitamin K, similar to how blood depends on exposure to phosphorus or nitrogen in order to clot. Phosphorus is also used by the body to form T-Cells (scar tissue). Normally in time, the phosphorus and the T-Cell is replaced with normal cells, but the phosphorus has to be metabolized out of the scar tissue for that to happen. Here look for hormonal balances and normal starch carbohydrate metabolism to do the job.
And damn. I'm sorry to hear about the stroke. I've pulled out of strokes by putting warm water up my nose (no joke) to directly hydrate through the sinuses and remove excess substances causing the dehydration. The water hurts like a kick to the head on a heat stroke but then everything straightens out in minutes.
I wish I had suggested this to my father's doctors. Maybe a stroke interferes by blocking neccessary fluids needed to clear out antagonists and help restore healing.
__________________
Arnold McMunn
Last edited by Sleepy on 02-22-2008 at 10:51 PM |
| 02-22-2008 10:38 PM |
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Paratech
Pinball Fanatic
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Registered: May 2001
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No, and I hope I didn't sound like I wanted him to give up hope either, just to know that if the worst did happen, she'd be in a better place. The more I get mad at the world, the more I realize the afterlife has to be better for those who are saved.
Of course he ignores everything I say, but even if he doesn't read it, I wanted to show some sympathy and support. As angry as I might get in heated discussions with members here and at other forums, I only want the best for my fellow members. I hope to see as many of you as possible in the afterlife. Perhaps we'll be lucky enough to get pinball in Heaven?  Even if most of you would beat me at it then! 
__________________
-Member of the Windows XP/XBOX "Sith" with dreams of galactic conquest, er no, I mean dreams of buying an XBOX 360
$95 for an XBOX, $9.99 for a copy of Halo 2...Being able to play Halo 2 without buying Vista, priceless! Vista, what OS do you not want to screw up your PC!
Wii will Wii will rock you!
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| 02-22-2008 11:30 PM |
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Paratech
Pinball Fanatic
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Registered: May 2001
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quote:
Originally posted by Shockman
Good luck Nick. I know how you feel and can not help.
My family was upset that I did not inform them when my son crashed his car. I could not tell them though, I could not tell myself even. He was not expected to live through the night, and a given that he would never be the same. A given that was taken back though, as he has fully recovered.
Miracles happen, particularly when you don't expect them.
They tried radical chemical and radiation treatment on my father, and the results looked promising, but before they could do the third treatment, he got worse and died. In the end the hope was false, but it may lead the path to a cure and it extended his life 2-6 months, of which the last 2 weeks were horrible, but the rest wasn't that bad. I'll treasure every moment I talked on the phone with my father and hope everyone here treasures the time they have with their family.
Of course I hope to see him in Paradise as well, so it's only until we meet again. However, I hope to live for another 40 years....
__________________
-Member of the Windows XP/XBOX "Sith" with dreams of galactic conquest, er no, I mean dreams of buying an XBOX 360
$95 for an XBOX, $9.99 for a copy of Halo 2...Being able to play Halo 2 without buying Vista, priceless! Vista, what OS do you not want to screw up your PC!
Wii will Wii will rock you!
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| 02-22-2008 11:34 PM |
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Paratech
Pinball Fanatic
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quote:
Originally posted by Sleepy
I know you didn't mean it that way.
It's frustrating when I don't know if anything would help anyone else at all, so I say "fight" just to make sure.
In this case I completely agree with you, but when I saw my father in so much pain that even a lot of morphine couldn't help him and just touching him gave him pain, and that he was in pain while he was going in and out of consciousness, I thought God I wouldn't want him, me, and anyone else to suffer like that, I hope he doesn't have to suffer like this very long.
I was grateful that he died two days later, noone should suffer like that.
I finally understood why Charline fears cancer so much, both of her grandparents on her mothers side died of it, but I remind her she doesn't smoke *they did* she doesn't get drunk, she walks and exercises, and they are constantly learning more in dealing with cancer.
Still if I were to get liver cancer and I were to be in pain like my father was, I'd not fight death at that point.
I thought I was tough and could fight anything, until I saw my father two days before he died! 
But thankfully Ike's mother doesn't have liver cancer.
__________________
-Member of the Windows XP/XBOX "Sith" with dreams of galactic conquest, er no, I mean dreams of buying an XBOX 360
$95 for an XBOX, $9.99 for a copy of Halo 2...Being able to play Halo 2 without buying Vista, priceless! Vista, what OS do you not want to screw up your PC!
Wii will Wii will rock you!
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| 02-22-2008 11:55 PM |
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The Loafer 
One bad muthaloaf!!!
Supporting Member 
Registered: Dec 2001
Location: Embrun, Ont, Canada
Posts: 3232
Fav Pin: Superman, Firepower
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Hi Nic,
Listen bud, the only thing you have to understand is that your feeling of "about to crack"? We all go through that, you aren't alone. How else are we supposed to feel when our loved ones are ill. It's perfectly normal, don't be too hard on yourself. Even if you do end up crying in front of her, it may not seem appropriate at the time but we just to the best we can with these difficult situations. Hang in there bud.
Whatever happens, just be there for her, you are doing a great job as her son, tending to her needs. She is lucky to have you, as you were lucky to have her as a mom. If you need to vent, give me a holler.
__________________
Any questions, feel free to ask
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| 02-23-2008 02:37 AM |
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davidsss 
EM Fan
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Registered: Sep 2004
Location: Melbourne
Posts: 1211
Fav Pin: North Star Bank A Ball Beat the Clock (1963) Jack in the Box Hot Shot Travel Time Firepower et al
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Nic, hang in there. My mother has cancer too, she's a bit older and it doesn't look as threatening, we aren't close either. My sister has just come through a big operation too. I know you don't want to lose it but we all lose it a bit at times like this, you just do the best you can.
Paratech, bad to hear about your father. We may have different opinions on what's on the other side but your father contributed to medical research, everyone who benefits from this means that your father lives on, on this side too, through the people who's lives are extended through that research.
DS
__________________
Imagine there's no countries
It isn't hard to do
Nothing to kill or die for
And no religion too
John Lennon
Reproductions: Williams Wild Card, Gottlieb Volley, Rock-Ola World's Series, Chicago Coin's Pirate Gold.
Originals Produced: Aussie Rules
Working on: Williams Jive Time
Also Working On: VP/VPM Table List
Thinking About: Exhibit's Jeanie. Williams Travel Time and Expo.
Anyone with good graphics please PM me
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| 02-24-2008 04:51 AM |
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Ike Savage
Interested.
Registered: Jan 2002
Location: Shackamaxon, PA Beverage: iced tea
Posts: 9545
Fav Pin: Giraffe in Park
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thanks, fellas. i appreciate the advice and supportive words.
okay, i'm going to change the purpose of this thread slightly, concentrating more on my mom's condition so that ppl i've been emailing can read this one thread for updates. forgive me for turning this into a a blog, but the alternative is getting to be exhausting.
RECAP:
2/13 or 2/14 - apparently due to a combination of various meds causing extreme constipation, in conjunction with poor blood to the colon, mom developed a blockage which then created a rupture in an 'elbow' of her colon. surgery was performed successfully and as of today she is making a very good recovery according to her surgeon.
she's expected to be in hospital for around one week and is on pain meds right now that have an amnesiatic effect, so is not ready to receive phone calls yet, but perhaps in a few days.
2/19 - mom has struggled through a couple days now of lesser mental sharpness. i understand that part of this may be due to high levels of steroids she's on and a switch from the epidural pain relief to morphine. also, morphine has a hallucinogenic component. also, it doesn't help that she was in the middle of recovering from her aphasia from october's stroke when this colon thing happened.
but overall mom is making a first-rate recovery. my understanding is that many people with a similar incident would be lagging behind her, assuming they even survived in the first place. mom's stomach finally 'woke up' enough today such that she was able to take liquids for the first time. she's also been able to get out of bed for periods to sit in a chair. also, she's gradually been shedding IV's and tomorrow may be able to get off the last of them. i'm guessing that soon she may be transferred out of ICU.
one unresolved issue is her inability to take her anti-spasmodic med for restless leg. she and i have been waiting since late morning for her main doc to show up and authorise it, only to be disappointed time and again by the mere sound of a fluttering leaf. but john arrived from work before i came home for the night and we colluded to 'accidentally' leave one of her pills out if her doc ultimately failed to show up for the night. problem solved, haha.
anyway, there is still risk involved IMO. yesterday mom had trouble breathing for two significant stretches and altho in medical terms there was no quantifiable cause for alarm, those were extremely draining times for me personally and i can't imagine they are harmless to her on some level. also, there is always the risk of her weak-ish immune system getting preyed upon by some little microbic bastard just when she needs a break.
but again, today went really well and things are looking quite positive. at this rate, phone calls may be possible tomorrow or the day after.
2/22 - the bottom fell out. first post in this thread covers what happened.
2/27 - so far mom's doing pretty well recovering from her 2nd surgery but she's very weak and exhausted. she's mostly off pain meds now and we're hoping she becomes more responsive as the days go by. also hoping that she doesn't get hit by any new complications.
it's been two weeks now and i'm getting worn down by this, particularly these periods where she's mostly unresponsive and the monitors keep giving these mini-alarms which freak me out. fortunately my aunt from italy is here for a week to help look after her so i don't have to spend so many hours every day at the ICU.
2/28- mom is still on pretty powerful antiobiotics. she's been getting those because of the nature of the second surgery and elevated white cell count overall. anyway, white blood cell count was dropping until today at which time it rose a little. overall she is still nice and stable, altho heavily sedated for pain and mostly unable to communicate.
the downer for today is that her kidneys (which were already a little shaky) are apparently losing some function which will require her to get dialysis soon. hopefully this will not be permanent, just as the ostomy bag won't be permanent.
__________________
Nic's picks- flash games / The history of Visual Pinball / Billiards Engine / News of the world Part I / II / III / IV / Pearls (eight of the puzzles are mine) / HOMEPAGE
Last edited by Ike Savage on 02-28-2008 at 09:49 PM |
| 02-28-2008 09:25 PM |
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Paratech
Pinball Fanatic
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Registered: May 2001
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Fav Pin: Ripley's Believe it or Not
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quote:
Originally posted by Ike Savage
thanks, chris. i took the acct off of ignore because i kept seeing you reply.
i don't believe in the traditional god and i don't think prayers do a blessed thing except for the people praying, but in any case i'm thankful for your kind words.
thank you,
nic.
I'll try to agree to disagree with you when we have arguments, I'm sorry, I can get stuck losing my temper sometimes.
__________________
-Member of the Windows XP/XBOX "Sith" with dreams of galactic conquest, er no, I mean dreams of buying an XBOX 360
$95 for an XBOX, $9.99 for a copy of Halo 2...Being able to play Halo 2 without buying Vista, priceless! Vista, what OS do you not want to screw up your PC!
Wii will Wii will rock you!
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| 02-29-2008 10:57 AM |
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Ike Savage
Interested.
Registered: Jan 2002
Location: Shackamaxon, PA Beverage: iced tea
Posts: 9545
Fav Pin: Giraffe in Park
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@phil,
well, you got me. i remember mythbusters did a similar experiment using music but i forget what the results were. given the evidence for prayer, i'd be interested in reading about any mechanisms discovered which are involved in the extra growth.
@steve,
thank you.
@arne,
yes i believe so, altho i think the hospital was able to provide their own formulation the next day.
@chris,
thanks. i'll see what i can do on that end as well.
@dad,
yea, she's not in palliative care at this time. she's very weak and there are lots of things to be concerned about, but there is still a hopeful prognosis.
NOTES: this was the first day i had 'off' with my aunt completely covering for me. that was a much-needed break.
from what i understand, the dialysis is doing a good job of removing extra, built-up fluid in mom's body, so the swelling in one of her hands went down. she's also off regular ativan and morphine except by request. she was also slightly more communicative than yesterday, reportedly.
hopefully soon her stomach will show signs of digestion again so that she can start taking ice chips again. it was a pretty-good day for her, tho.
__________________
Nic's picks- flash games / The history of Visual Pinball / Billiards Engine / News of the world Part I / II / III / IV / Pearls (eight of the puzzles are mine) / HOMEPAGE
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| 03-01-2008 12:13 AM |
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