nicolas b

Obfuscated phrases

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How many milkcrates can you...?

See if you can figure out what's going on here:

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"Witness thou what transpireth, Lawrence, an
thee have unclean relations upon an unknown soul?"
 

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"Forswear the application of friction upon a fellow's specimen of rheum flora!"
 

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"Thou hast imperative... to opt sagaciously."
 

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Proceed with fervor towards the process of metabolism,
alternately apply one's energies towards necrotic ends.
 

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"Regretfully, David, I fear I lack sufficient jurisdiction to effect the intended goal."
 

ANSWERS BELOW:
 
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1) "Do you see what happens, Larry?  Do you see what happens when you ---- a stranger in the ass?" (The Big Lebowski)
("An" in this case is Middle English for "if")
 
2) "Never rub another man's rhubarb!" (Batman - 1989)
 
3) "You must choose... but choose wisely." (Indiana Jones & the Last Crusade)
 
4) "Either get busy living, or get busy dying." (The Shawshank Redemption)
 
5) "I'm sorry, Dave, I'm afraid I can't do that." (2001)
 
 
 

So as you can see, the object of this game is to take a familiar phrase or title, etc. and 'obfuscate' it.  Ready for more?  Here we go!
 
1) A humanoid biped cannot maintain metabolic processes by means of triticum flour merely.
 
2) The lattice-work gun-stinging insect.
 
3) The male offspring in addition gets out of bed.
 
4) Those for which beauty exacts transit tax.
 
5) Serious constricting-path. (author of number four)
 
6) Shattered quickly at the quarreling posterior.
 
7) Purchased the plantation.
 
8) Encounter the kin.
 
9) Placed your aggregate ova in distinct cradle.
 
10) Involved over base pecuniary unit, participant re: quid.
 
11) Scintillate, scintillate, asteroid minific.
 
12) Neophyte's serendipity.
 
13) Pulchritude possesses solely cutaneous profundity.
 
14) A revolving lithic conglomerate accumulates no congeries of a small, green byophitic plant.
 
15) Eschew the implement of correction and vitiate the scion.
 
16) All articles that coruscate with resplendence are not truly auriferous.
 
17) Freedom from incrustations of grime is contiguous to rectitude.
 
18) Individuals who make their abode in vitreous edifices would be advised to refrain from catapulting petrous projectiles.
 
19) Exclusive dedication to necessitous chores without interludes of diversion renders John a habetudinous fellow.
 
20) It is fruitless to become lachrymose over precipitately departed lacteal fluid.
 
21) Where there are visible vapors having their prevenience in ignited carbonaceous material, there is conflagration.
 
22) Missiles of ligneous or oterous consistency have the potential of fracturing my osseous structure, but appellations will eternally remain innocuous!
 
 
ANSWERS:
 
1) "Man cannot live on bread alone."
 
2) "The Great (grate) Gatsby (gat-bee)."
 
3) "The Sun (son) also Rises."
 
4) "For Whom the Bell (belle) Tolls."
 
5) Ernest Hemingway.
 
6) "Breakfast at Tiffanys (tiff-fanny)."
 
(These are all from "The Galactic Pot-healer", by Philip K. Dick)
 
7) "Bought the farm."
 
8) "Meet the parents."
 
9) "Put all your eggs in one basket."
 
10) "In for a penny, in for a pound."
 
(These are more of mine)
 
11) "Twinkle, twinkle, little star."
 
12) "Beginner's luck."
 
13) "Beauty is only skin deep."
 
14) "A rolling stone gathers no moss."
 
15) "Spare the rod, and spoil the child."
 
16) "All that glitters is not gold."
 
17) "Cleanliness is next to godliness."
 
18) "Those who live in glass houses should not throw stones."
 
19) "All work and no play makes John a dull boy."
 
20) "It doesn't pay crying over spilt milk."
 
21) "Where there is smoke there is fire."
 
22) "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but names will never harm me."
 
(This excellent collection by Rabbi Kalman Packouz)
 
 
The real game aspect of this is to trade obfuscated phrases with another person and see if you can each figure out what the original sayings are.  And there are not enough people to play this game!  So if you are interested, please shoot me a line.